Spinning into infinity

Crater

A big black endless hole

Stars above, beckoning

Come out into the light

Deception

Because there's no rope

Falling

Shining above me, twinkling fireworks and promises

Liars

There is nothing good anymore, nothing happy

And there is no light

Not here

Still falling

There is no bottom, I realize

Just before the ground hits me,

breaking bones

Blood on my fingers

Tears on the sky

Blurring the stars

Everything is black

Violets will never bloom again.

 * * *

An hour passes

The bleeding stops

But not the burning

The skin is torn apart,

I can see the inside

I am alone

Oh but for you, I was never good enough

I was ugly before I was born

How did your heart turn to pebbles and grit?

Thrown together

So much ice and stone

So cold

Fingernails and fists 

Breaking my defense

It was still my fault

It was always my fault

Breaking my heart

Not that you care

Breaking my wings

But you'd already cut them off

Before hope could hope to be born

And all of them are dead

love and hope and prayers

and my plentiful worthless tears

Buried in a field of violets

But you shut off the sun, so the violets don’t grow anymore

Now it’s all black.

But I promised myself I would be happy so I smiled

Even though my tears ran a river

and your words swam in it

I took your hate and put it in a cardboard box

and then I taped it up so it could never get to me

Acid, dripping off your tongue, scarring

Your hate seeped out of the cardboard box

drop by drop like poison

Burning everything in its path, sucking oxygen and hope

while my tears are flowing down a valley

the streams are becoming a river, it merges, it is a sea

It is overflowing, overwhelming, I cannot breathe

It is seeping into the ground, giving back life to everything you destroyed

It is flowing into the field where the violets stand   

Nourishing their empty purple hearts

My faith is no longer shattered

Arise from the barren fields

Hope, no longer dead

My desperate prayers have been accepted

The cardboard box may be open

Your hate is free to roam

But your words mean nothing to me

But I am no longer in the black hole, no longer unhappy

No longer under your control

The stars are real, they were not lying

I am whole again, and perfect

But above all, I am happy

I can smile again, I am free

Tonight I will not cry myself to sleep

Tonight I will sleep in peace

Holding on to the belief

That to someone, I mean something

For them , I will live

And for them, I will breathe

Even after you take the light from every part of me

Even after you steal the sun from my violet field