Promises don't have expiry dates.

She can't tell me the ocean doesn't want to swallow me and I don't need to breathe but I've dreamt of destruction , I've made it my fate with my fingertips , I've refused to let this sadness eat me whole and so it has broken me down before devouring me piece by piece

Tell me why she won't look me in the eyes, do they reflect so blindingly everything she's lost 4 years and three heartbreaks  ago? She pushes me out and I'm left with her perfume and the memory of a summer day bright in my mind when her skin was warm and her face glowed with innocence. We've come a long way from home honey and I've lost my tears to the world that has bled me dry and you've lost your faith but we didn't have to lose each other , not like this.

The paper crinkles against my cheek , and I wake up in starts, I exist but to dream of her lately , it seems, a few thousand miles away, my best friend's getting married and I can't hold her hand and it breaks me a little inside, California is light years away and I'm typing congratulations when my heart breaks for the fourth time.

I've heard someone say that in what they've seen of life , it can only be said that it goes on, and some find that comforting but God sometimes I wish it didn't. That I could put a stop to this earth spinning and time winding years and distance between us and never truly letting us be who we once were.  Her promises were empty , my declarations of love magnified  but I'm here waiting , till time eats me alive .