Wednesday, 30 March 2016

you've only got yourself and your insanity

But you make it messy when it's going good. You make it all so messy and your face blurs every memory in me until I'm standing next to you and I used to mean something to you.
What satisfaction do you get living your pathetic life glued to people in virtual worlds who don't give a damn ? What fun is it being a fan of a game, I never understood and what pleasure did you get in selling out and god you are so beautiful I wish you wouldn't.  I wish you wouldn't sell out because you are worth so much more.  I wish you wouldn't sell your soul to the devil and I wish your face wouldn't break my heart everytime I looked at it. You've insistently consumed me and I'm tired of your flames girl and I've been burnt so thoroughly that I'm all but a handful of ashes in your hands and can you please let go of me.
You're a beautiful lie.
It's a trap and everything you've been banking on is going to slip and give way beneath your feet and you'll fall and break like the delicate skin and bones you are but god you act so tough you've almost deluded yourself into believing the lies you project.
You're worth more than this.
You're worth more than this.
You deserve more than this and I know you said sorry but my heart still breaks.
Why did you change like the tides
Why did I open the doors to damnation for you ?
I still remember when you said the old you was dead. And she is. And it aches like this  because I miss her everyday .
You've no right to say you still care and wreck me like this.
It's so difficult  to take care of someone so fickle.
It hurts to look at your face and I can't explain that and it hurts to think about you in ways I shouldn't and it hurts to have thought you changed only to realise that you became much worse.
Vacuousness isn't appealing on you.

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